


Smile.

by Welpie



Category: Kagerou Project, Mekakucity Actors
Genre: Angst, Ayano and her haze thingy ya know, Canon Compliant, Depression, Drabble, Gen, To be expected of her, Trigger warning; suicide, idk what this is tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-03 07:14:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14563776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Welpie/pseuds/Welpie
Summary: In which Ayano tries something to reach out.





	Smile.

**Author's Note:**

> Wasn't sure whether to post but I am still working on my multichapter fics so didn't rlly have to post anything else. Just to show 'hey I am still here'
> 
> May delete this later.

"You know, I kinda want to die."

(Why did she say that?)

Those words startled the one next to her. She had known the other would be. Anyone would be shocked.

To herself admitting it out loud felt liberating. Like a weight was lifted of her chest. Yet it finalized her words. A strange sort of resolve was made. It felt foreign yet comforting.

(Her stomach lurched.)

She smiled.  
  
There was no way to mince her own words. They were spoken; hanging in the air between the two sitting there.

(She had to take it ba-)

A simple 'hey, are you okay?' was normally answered with a 'fine, how about you?'. Even if they were not fine. Not fine at all. Usually one would hide behind a smile from ear to ear. Or change the subject. It was too late for that.

(No, it wasn't. She could still-)

The girl was not booksmart at all, but she was good with people. Reading them... Tactics people used... Cheering others up... that was her strength. She was a hero after all.

Being honest with the other was probably not the best choice. Worrying others made guilt well up in her stomach. Yet... her end was near anyway; why did she have to hide it?

(She ignored the awful feeling in her stomach that stayed. She wanted to take back her words and smile smile smile SMILE-)

Ah, it was Out Of Character like her other friend would say. Maybe... She was used to keeping everything inside. Sometimes her bubble burst and her tears would overflow. Yet no one saw. That was for the best.

(It should have stayed like that.)

One time he caught her in the classroom, but he only looked. And left. The girl was glad yet sad about that.

(Why didn't he reach out?)

They never mentioned that ever again.

The friend in front of the girl was not him though.

(She didn't want him to see her like this.)

Ah, she had been so mean. The timing...

Her timing was not right at all. That was the truth. Yet was there ever a right 'time'? Otherwise it was too late.

(Her friend was hurting too. Why did she do this to her?)

The least the girl could do was let her friend know.

(She didn't have to..)

Maybe she wanted to be stopped.

(Yes.)

Maybe.

(YES.)

The silence was still there. The girl nuzzled into her red scarf. Her own symbol.

Protection.

Protect them.

That was her goal; her desire.

Her desire was to protect them. Her siblings with those red, red eyes. And her friends; one whom was right besides her at that moment.

Oh, how much she wished for those red eyes herself.

(Selfish, oh so selfish.)

Or...

Deep down inside...

She had to admit...

...maybe she was lying to herself.

Maybe this was her cheap way of escaping it all. The suffering, the hurting, the crying...

No... No. This was not a 'cheap way' at all.

It required courage.

This was not a thoughtless action.

A lot of planning went into it.

Her own personal 'hero' plan.

(If there were no eyes would she had done it? The suffering her loved ones would go through? Likely she wouldn't have done so. She was strong. Was this the final push? An... excuse...? No, no, her thoughts went into circles... )

The friend snapped the girl out of her thoughts.

The air felt heavy.

"Hey, Ayano. I'll be heading back to Haruka in the hospital. Deliver his phone, check up on him and all. I'd rather not leave you alone right now... Would you like to join?"

"Sorry, Takane, but I have something to do."

"Okay," her voice was hesistant, "please talk to me right after. I'm not good at this sorta stuff, but if you need anyone to talk to I'm here."

"Thank you, I will."

That was a lie.

(Fear grabbed hold of her. What if she failed?)

As her body finally soared through the sky a small part of her wished she'd never wake up.

Her scarf fluttered in the wind.

The girl smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> If you could relate to this please refer to the helplines here, thank you; http://togetherweare-strong.tumblr.com/helpline
> 
> And thattt was it~ a bit rough and messy but ye it fit what I was going for


End file.
